Sunday, August 28, 2005
6:06 PM
'This is going to be our LAST guard duty... FOREVER!'
I announced gleefully to Ethan as I enthusiastically dragged him to start our rounds at 2am. I had explained that since this was going to be the last time, we might as well do it properly, like what those warrant officers always say: Do it once, do it good.
It was going to be our 'swansong' so to speak. From the August onwards, we would only be doing COS duties.
For him it was.
...
'This better be my last guard duty'
I told myself with a sigh as I took up my arms again at 2am in the morning to go for my rounds. I had gotten an extra duty given directly by my S4 as he went through my finance documents for LRI and saw that I had not written the date for one of them even though I had promised him that my documents were all fully done. Everyone emerged from the LRI with 8 days of off, whilst I came out with 1 weekend COS extra duty.
Wouldn't have been so bad, except Thomas cocked up, and did not indicate that it was a COS duty and not a guard duty to Randy, who happily planned the first Sunday guardy duty available for me. I did not have the heart to ask Randy to plan the whole thing all over again just for me, so Final GuardDuty had an oxymoronic sequel: Final GuardDuty 2.
Think I'm unlucky? Wait till you hear about Final GuardDuty 3...
It was a pleasant Friday, pleasant because Ethan had agreed to change his Monday COS with my Saturday COS so that I could go out for dinner with RJ on Saturday. Then during last parade, our CSM began making a disturbing announcement about having been forced to utilise his command authority.
It so happened that one of the guards that day decided to play punk. Having taken a half day leave in the morning, he refused to come back to do his duty that day, claiming that he had to send his grandmother to the hospital. As all the reserve guards had been activated already by then, CSM had spent the whole day frantically trying to persuade people to do the favour of volunteering to do the duty today, to no avail.
So he decided to draw lots.
No, I was not the unlucky one who drew the lot. I was not 'eligible' for the unlucky draw because I was doing COS only. This guy who'd done the last two Friday guard duties consecutively drew the lot. Now he was really really miffed about it, to say the least. And his unhappiness is actually somewhat justified, because this was the second time he had to don the SBO at the eleventh hour on a Friday evening.
However, he did the unthinkable. On the way up, he knocked the fire extinguisher container glass with his bare hands. The glass broke, and he left a trail of blood as he walked upstairs. All that in full view of our Commanding Officer (aka BIG BOSS).
That guy later had to go to the hospital because the cut was very deep. After a 'chat' with our CO, S4 decided he would activate someone from his own branch to do the duty that day.
So EVERYONE from S4 branch was asked to go upstairs to see CSM. By that time, 'EVERYONE' was only the 5 of us left. The rest of them had sneaked away. Of the five of us, one was doing guard duty the next day, the other one was COS for the day. So only 3 of us were eligible.
...
And that was how I ended doing a third final guard duty.
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Here's what happened in episode 65 in Jewel in the Palace
Saturday, August 20, 2005
11:18 PM
The Empress asked Chang Jin to 'liberate' the sickly Crown Prince (who was not the Empress' own son) from his numerous ilnesses, so that her own son, who was next in line, would take over as Crown Prince, that her seat of power and authority may be preserved in the palace.
Being the irresistably good, irrepressibly righteous and unbelievably benevolent medicine woman she was, Chang Jin naturally could not bring herself to agree to such a murderous act.
Unfortunately, she owes her life to the Empress, on top of the many favours that she's received from her (up until this insidious request, the Empress had been one of the few 'good guys' in the show; a victim of circumstance).
As if that was nto enough, the Emperor overheard the conversation, though he did not hear exactly what the Empress asked her to do. So he later tried to coerce her to tell him what it was, telling her it was an Imperial Order.
On the first occasion, she was torn between her conscience and her loyalty to the Empress, and on the second occasion, she was torn between her loyalty to the Empress, and the authority of the Emperor.
For both occasions, she chose the former, yet she did so without abandoning the latter entirely either. She chose, on the first occasion, to keep her conscience intact and requested to repay her debt to the Empress with her life, and on the second occasion, to accept the Imperial consequence of not betraying the Empress.
What makes me feel so strongly about this little snippet of the show is, what I feel, its relevance to what Paul said in Romans 13:6 "Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience."
Chang Jin valued conscience over the authority. She did not blindly obey her Empress and Emperor, but instead followed her conscience first, and so ultimately submitted to both her conscience, and the authority.
It wouldn't have been right for her to have agreed to help the Empress, but it was also an ungrateful and unfilial thing to refuse to help the Empress (for she would surely be unable to survive should the current Crown Prince ascend the throne) after what she's done for Chang Jin. So she begged to repay the debt with her life, so that she would not betray her own conscience.
Likewise, her conscience wouldn't have allowed her to betray the Empress by telling on her. Yet, it was only right to submit to the authority of the Emperor. So she told the Emperor that she could not tell him what it was that the Empress wanted her to do, and was prepared to pay with her life for this insolence.
Of course, she did not eventually die, otherwise there wouldn;t be all those romantic scenes with the main male lead later towards the end, and half the audience of romance suckers wouldn't have watched the show and it wouldn't be so popular.
In real life, she would've died twice over. Actually, she would've died in the first episode. Usually, there's no sudden third party who comes in preceding a flying arrow that deflects the executioner's axe to save the protagonist from certain death at the critical split second. The axe just goes down and the story ends like Kill Bill Vol 1.
John the baptist was beheaded most abruptly in the middle of nowhere significant. Stephen was stoned to death inevitably even after he was purportedly said to have looked like an angel! And Paul was crucified upside down most unceremoniously after all those letters and all that jail and flogging.
There is often a price to pay for doing the right thing, for following your conscience, for not doing unto others what you would not want done on yourself. Chang Jin could follow her conscience every step of the way (she did, every time, throughout the 70 episodes, except perhaps the single exception where she illegally 'zapped' some TOP SECRET medical records), I believe, only because of the confidence she had of being loved deeply. By her mother, by Lady Han, and by Min Zheng Hao.
How much more I could do if only I can always remember the divine love showered on me now, in the future, and forever more.
...
Right now, the price I need to pay is the withdrawal symptoms of abruptly finishing 70 episodes of the fantastic series within 1 month. Chang Jin... Chang Jin!!! T_T
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Duct Tape! I need DUCT TAPE!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
11:28 PM
I've just entered the scary world of nipple abrasion. After running 14 km at East Coast Park last Friday, my nipples were so sore, I almost screamed out like a sissy when the water ran down my chest in the shower at home.
Before the next training this Friday, I decided to do some research on this mammar... I mean mammoth problem. Looked up some forums, and found that the pros actually resort to using duct tape!
"In all cases, though, I find that I do best by using tape on my nipples. Currently I use just a small piece (about a quarter inch square) of quarter inch Micropore tape (available at ordinary drug stores). I have worn it through 50 miles (longest I have run thus far) and showers without it coming off. Some other tapes I have used have worked very poorly and others have worked well. Since it only needs to cover the nipple, one roll lasts a long time." - a certain Rocky Waters
By a ridiculous twist of luck, my father bought this new roll of sticky 3M brand tape for sticking on his Gu Zheng nails, wanting to try out a different type of tape other than the ones he and my mother normally uses. Turned out the tape was too sticky, and they just chucked it at one corner. Found it the day before I went for the run. Perfect for a sweaty person like me.
As usual, first times for me always screw up... A very good thing this Friday was only a 6 km 'leisure' run. The bleddy tapes dropped out before I even started warming up. Should've pasted it on vertically instead of horizontally...
Well, I bet that's enough information on nipple abrasion for a whole year! Or even a lifetime. Those of you who're going to train for the run this December with me, don't say I've not warned you already.
Man... just looking at that picture above makes me reel in imagined pain.
( 5 comment)
Cold Turkey
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
8:58 PM
I think I've found out why I've been feeling those pangs of loneliness and depression so sharply these days. It is the withdrawal symptoms...
I've never really told anyone about it before, but I think in my schooling days, I've been quite badly addicted to computer games. Actually, mainly Warcraft 3. I would be playing for hours in the middle of exams, all the way through my 'O' levels and 'A' levels. Sadly, I'm still very lousy at the game. And I'm really fortunate to have scraped through to where I've gotten. But that's not the point really.
I've not played any computer games (except those flash mini-games on the internet explorer while in camp... they don't count... right???) for over 2 months at least already I think. Not playing computer games has not made me lonelier, but it gave the time and space to realise how pathetic my life has become.
I spend the better part of my day in camp doing work with no incentive nor satisfaction (of which I will have to spend another entry talking about some other time), and is left only with a measly 3 to 4 hours left to myself at home daily. The weekend hours become golden.
Yet even if I do spend my time away from camp 'meaningfully', going out with my friends, it is but a few hours. Compared to 5 days in a week, 5 hours of time spent 'meaningfully' only makes the 5 days harder to bear.
Playing games regularly helped me to forget everything. During late nights when I could not fall asleep, and there was no one to talk to online or on the phone, and there was no one to go out with, I could always turn on the game and distract myself from it all. I did not even need to go out with friends during weekends, and furthermore, the weekdays would be easier to bear as well.
So now that I do not have this distraction, reality hits me like a brick below my belt.
And now that I'm forced to see this reality, I also gradually realise that if anything, this state of affairs of mine is probably going to resurface again when I enter the real world as part of the work-force in the future. If my job does not give me satisfaction, nor incentives, and I do not have any good acquaintances at work, life would be as bad. Except that there is no "ORD loh" to look forward to...
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She's going to die!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
8:47 AM
And my mother cried buckets as Lady Han confessed to a crime she did not commit in order to save Changjin. Good thing she did not watch the twenty minute melodrama that was the passing away of Lady Han on the shoulders of Changjin as they journeyed in exile. To be fair, it really was a very heart-wrenching twenty minutes.
By the time my mother started watching again, Lady Han was already dead and buried. By then, my mother had regained her composure, and was deeply consoled by the fact that Lady Han had at least a burial.
I had a short chat with her about the issue of death.
Personally, I feel that the living is always more important than the dead: Firstly, I believe the dead do not have eyes to see what goes on after their own demise; a grand burial for someone you've mistreated while he or she was alive is not an adequate compensation. And secondly, the well-being of the 'still-alive' is infinitely more important than the 'already dead'; life must go on, and the living must continue living 'alive-ly', that is, as opposed to living like a zombie.
So I was callously suggesting to my mother that Changjin should have just chucked Lady Han to one side, because she was going to die anyways, instead of wasting her own energy carrying a corpse-to-be. And a burial would not have mattered to the dead Lady Han anyways. Changjin should save her energy and tears on staying alive.
I suppose it is this kind of insensitivity that induces a seething disgust for pastors who try to 'evangalise' during funerals. For the pastor, it is only practical, because the dead guy (if he was a Christian), was going to go to heaven already anyways, so there's not much to be sad about from the pastor's point of view, and the bigger issue for him at hand, is the 'salvation' of the rest of the people who are still alive. Hence he simply does what is the most logical thing to do: try to convert people.
...
When Lazarus died, and Jesus saw his body with the weeping sisters, He did not say 'My friend is dead, but never mind! You've treated him well when he was alive, and he's going to heaven anyways, so let us be happy instead and focus on living properly so that we will all go to heaven together when we all die. Yay!'
Actually, what really happened was.
John 11:35
"Jesus wept."
...
And then He proceeded to revive Lazarus back to life. Well, pastors nowadays don't seem to do that already. Perhaps it's not so popular anymore. So the next better thing to do would be to mourn with the mourning; have some sympathy and empathy. And some PR awareness too. Weeping is a good idea if a pastor was good at theatrics, but otherwise, silence is usually the best idea.
There should not be so much callousness and recklessness when faced with other people's problems, especially when we can't solve it ourselves. It doesn't really help when you're going through a rough patch in life, and someone comes up to you and pats you on the back with grin from ear to ear and say 'Don't worry, I'm sure things will turn out fine', or 'Always look on the bright side of life', or worse still, try to evangelise.
There is a Divine timing for evangalism. Most of the times, it is not the right time. Least of all when I'm watching the soppy parts of Jewel in the Palace.
T_T Lady Han died...
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ORD LOH!!! in another 6 months
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
8:12 PM
I got posted into 1 SIR midway through their 2 year cycle to replace ONE signaller who downgraded his PES status. Naturally, I was posted there, ALONE.
I had a hard time getting along with everyone in my unit, because I stuck out like a sore thumb being the only JC graduate among scores of Poly graduates. And now that I'm getting along fabulously with a few of the fellow clerks, they all start to disappear on me one by one, due firstly to the National Day Parade, and secondly to their miserable ORD leave clearance.
ORD LOH!!! for them... but for me, another 6 months at least.
And soon, all my closer confidantes in camp will leave me, and I'll be lonely and miserable and depressed again. Perhaps my previous bout of depression was just a foreshadow of the catastrophe about to strike...
HOW?!?!
...
Hehe, now I've got an excuse to be psychotic. I just read this interesting article about stalking in my bunkmate's copy of Men's Health. Maybe I should try doing that soon... but I wonder who...
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